I tried calling you last night. I'm assuming you were...

calmly orating
mostly haiku poetry
about nightingales

Concentrating on my heartfelt proposal all night

Camping on Mount Hood, phoneless and nonchalant

coordinating oneupme meetups, having parties and nonsense

Collaborating on musical hits, producing another number

coughing out mucus, high-fevered, pain-ridden and nauseous.

crying over my hastily penned adultery notification.

checking out Mexican hardcore porn all night

Checking our Mediterranean honeymoon plans. Any news?

crying over migraines having pain and nausea?

carrying out my heinous plan as noted.

chewing out Mom's homely poodle about nipping

completing our math homework; please acknowledge now

chewing on munchies, high probably all night

cheating on me, honest people are nicer

chomping on Mallomars, having Pabst, and naked.

Calling on my husband playing a nurse

comatose on meth, heroin, peyote and Nembutal

Comfortably occupied making husband perform all night

Crocheting or making hand painted, artsy neckties

choking on mary's hair pie around nine

Checking out my Harry Potter anthology, naturally!

cavorting outside malls, hornily pointing at nipples

Cruising on Main, hopping prostitutes and nymphomaniacs

Choking on my husbands privates. Adieu, Nympho!

campaigning on Mitt's housing plan all night

Comatose, overdosed. Maybe had pinot and narcotics?

captured on Madagascar, having photographed a native

cutting off miserable husband's penis; adulterous Neanderthal!

crying over my hot pants and negligee

canoodling outside. My hysterical parents are naive creatures.

Charming old maids, hosting potluck and nightcaps.

calling on my home phone all night

Coiffing Out MULLET Hair, Primping All Night

counting our many hours painfully arguing nothingness

Cultivating our marijuana harvest, poaching animals nervously.

cleaning our mutual hallway,polishing all night

Chasing old men hanky panking absolutely naked

cleaning out my hamper, putting away neckties

collecting odd memorabilia- hunting priceless, antique nautiluses.

Cooling out, making high-balls, partying and nonchalant.

carving out multiple Halloween pumpkins and necromancing

Cleared of mono, hoping paramours are nearby.

combing out matted hair precariously avoiding nits

Choking over my hemorrhoid photo, anal nutjob!

Castrating other men. How painful and narcissistic!

cooking or mashing hot potatoes around nine?

camping outside my house presenting another nuisance .

crashing. Old man Hefner performing a nooner?

coming over maybe having planned another night

Coming, oh my! harder please, again, nice!

Comatose! Obviously my horny phoning annoyed neighbors

Calling our mate Harry Parker about narcotics

Coming over my hot photographs - all nudes.

composing oratorios, mysteriously having penises as narrators?

Canoeing on Mississippi, hastily paddling and negotiating

Courting Oprah, making heroic plans and negotiations

Completely Occupied Making "Harry Potter" Almond Niangao

copulating on my heinous papasan and naked.

carousing on Mike's hipster patio and naugahyde

completing our movie: Harry Potter and Nihilism.

canvassing on Mulberry, hoping pennies accrued naturally.

Captured on Melstic Hyblard planet and neutralized.

Calling old mousy Harry Potter, abdicating nothing

cussing out my hot potato and nookie

Counting on my help pimping a nun

Coming Over My House Parading Airy Nighties!

Cracked out midst highway pylons and numbers