I wouldn't marry you even if you were the only man who ...

Would agree to be faithful after wedlock

Wore a tuxedo, brought flowers, and wept

would accept this bitchy female as wonderful

wanted a total bitch for a wife.

was attracted to back fat and wrinkles!

would attend the ballet for Arts Week

won a tennis battle fought at Wimbledon

would always take Buster for a walk

worried about "The Bachelor" finding a wife

washes a toilet bowl for a woman

would accept the basic facts about women

was available to buy flowers and wine

was a teddy bear: fuzzy and wuzzy

Withdrew a trillion bucks for a wedding

walked across the beach flexing abs wickedly

worked at Taco Bell for a wage

Wore a tiny bikini for a week

wrote about the beauty found around words

Was alive. Temperamental bastard, find another wife.

Wants a truly beautiful female and wife

Waved at tiny bunnies from a wagon.

was attracted to bodacious, fun, adorable women

Wanted a tater bar fer are wedding

wrestled a tiger becoming famous and winning

waxed a total brazilian for a woman

was a tad bit fat and wealthy!

won a tremendously big, fat, amazing windfall

wore all the Batman Forever accessories wistfully

won a thousand bucks from a wager

wanted A's, tiny boobs for all women

wears a toga between friday and wednesday

would adopt ten babies from another woman

would amuse the beaver for a week

Wanted a totally bootylicious freak as wife

wrote a treaty belatedly finishing all war

Walked a tiger back from a wake.

would attend that birthday for Adam West.

walked and talked. Basically, forget about women!

was attractive to bears facing a window

Was able to blow farts at waitresses.

Was able to butt f**k a whale

waged a triumphant battle for androgenous women

wrote amazing Twilight/Buffy fan-fiction about werewolves

would always tongue-bathe felines at work

Westernize all Tibetan brotherhood favoring Andy Warhol.

Were advancing Tiffany baubles, Fred. Away, weasel!

Was Asexual, Then Became Formerly A Woman

walked across the burning f*cking apocalyptic world

was always the best f***** around. Winning!

Willingly and tenaciously begged for adequate wages

Walked around teaching boys fighting and wrestling

was amiable towards being fully attending wishes

wore all titanium, bilked fortunes and wassailed.

Waltzed around the Bay Ferry all wobbly

was alive: the best feminists are women!

waited after the big fight about war